Our Chance (Los Rancheros #4) Read online

  “Harper was just saying that your girlfriend might want to spend time with you.” I busy myself wrapping up the tray as I talk. Brody pauses mid-chew before studying everyone.

  “Yeah, she would probably like that, if we were still together. We kind of broke up.”

  “Kind of?” Trigg asks.

  Brody cuts his eyes to my oldest. “We did,” he says firmly.

  Harper asks the next question. “So you aren’t cheating by spending time with Mom and us?”

  Brody lowers the carrot that’s been frozen halfway to his mouth through the conversation. “No. Do you want me to not spend as much time here? Is it bothering you guys?”

  I hold my breath until Jet jumps up and starts climbing him like a monkey, yelling, “No way. You’re the coolest, dude.” Brody puts a hand under Jet so that he doesn’t fall before he has a chance to get a hold of his neck as he watches the other kids with apprehension.

  Harper looks down and shakes her head. “No, you can stay,” she says with a blush coming to her cheeks. It’s my turn to shake my head. So awkward.

  “Trigg, if you want me to go, I’ll leave. No problem.”

  Trigg studies him with a look far too serious on his face. He looks down to where Brody has put his hand close to mine unconsciously on the counter, then up to me. I don’t know what expression is on my face. I don’t want to pressure him, and definitely want an honest answer. If they weren’t down with him being here then that would be all she wrote.

  “Nah, you’re fine. For now.”

  I feel my eyebrows rise at the insinuation. Brody lets out a breath and gives me a half shrug. “I’ll take it. Is this ready to go out to the car?”

  I blink and look around. “Yeah. We need to go. Everybody get your shoes on and head out.”

  As the kids scatter, I follow Brody with the last of the food. Brody does a double take on my face before straightening and putting his hand on either side of my jaw. “He’s the man of the house, Jules. He’s not giving it up for a guy who just shows up. I wouldn’t expect anything less. He’s a damn good kid.” I nod and squeeze his wrists before getting in the car as the kids file out of the house.

  I sit in the passenger seat, belatedly realizing that Brody took over driving, just like he always used to. Moreover, I gave up the driver’s seat without a thought. I look back at the kids and the only one that seems to notice is Harper, because she’s got eyes on Brody. What the hell am I going to do about that?

  I watch Brody as he rests his arm on the window, two fingers on the wheel. “You ever think you would be driving a minivan, Brody Denton?” I ask him quietly.

  He looks over at me, biting the inside of his lip before pulling his sunglasses from where they are hung on the neck of his shirt. “Seems like a lifetime ago. But yeah.” He looks back to me and I can’t see anything except but my reflection in his mirrored aviator glasses.

  I look away, out my window as mansions and crops go by. Brody turns on the radio and the kids start talking in the backseat.

  “One day all of this is going to be ours, baby,” Brody said as we drive over potholes in the pasture.

  “Yeah. I just wish it was sooner, ya know? We still have the rest of this year, plus four years of college. I don’t know why my parents won’t just give us our spread now. We know how to do it,” I pouted.

  “Yeah, but it’s almost about the experience. College is about more than an education, Juliet. We’re gonna get to party, and do whatever the hell we want without worrying about parents everywhere,” Brody said with a smile on his face, his hand on my thigh.

  “I just want to start our lives. I don’t need experiences. If we had a house of our own, we could have all the parties we want.”

  “Well, I want to go to parties and get drunk and be in a fraternity.”

  “What about all the hot girls? You want those too, right?” I accused him.

  He shot me a disbelieving look. “What? No.”

  “That’s part of the ‘experience,’ isn’t it? Do I not have enough for you?” I asked with tears in my eyes.

  Brody stopped the truck abruptly, rocking us forward before I scrambled out. “Wait. Where are you going?”

  I took off in the dark, not knowing where I was going.

  “What the fuck, Juliet?”

  “Do you want other girls, Brody? Is that what this is about? You want to sow your wild oats or whatever the hell they say? ‘Cause you can go. I’m not holding you here. I thought this was what we both wanted.”

  “It is what I want. Jesus Christ. Are you on your period or some shit?”

  The tears that had been threatening to fall spilled over as I backed away from him. He came after me, raising a hand, but I slapped it away. “No. You go and get your experience. Get all that wildness out of you and see if I’m waiting when you’re ready to settle down.”

  “Jules, what are you doing? We were talking about college, now you’re losing your damn mind.”

  “I’m serious. I’m breaking up with you. I’ll see you at UCLA.”

  “Why are you doing this? I have to have you home in like, ten minutes. Get in the car,” Brody told me as he pointed widely back to his truck.

  “Because.” My heart broke, thinking I wasn’t good enough for him. Maybe I didn’t kiss the way he wanted. Maybe he wanted someone who was more aggressive, less opinionated. I didn’t know. My mind felt like it would explode. “Maybe I want some practice, too.”

  He stared at me, speechless for a long minute before exploding. “What the fuck?!”

  “Don’t tell me you don’t like the way Tina bends over in math class every time she gets up. I’ve seen you look.”

  “Every guy looks, Juliet! She only wears underwear half the time.”

  My chin went back with the blow and he lunged for me, realizing too late his mistake. Grabbing me, he wrapped me up tightly in his arms. I breathed in fast through my nose a few times, absorbing that smell that was all I’ve ever wanted, before pushing away. “I’m leaving. All we’ve ever known is each other, Brody. This will be a good thing for us in the long run. Then we can start college as a couple . . . or not. I’ll give you until then to decide.”

  “I don’t need to decide. I know. Right now, I know that I only want you. So what if I look?”

  “It just doesn’t feel very good, is all. I’ll see you around.”

  “What, you’re going to walk home?”

  “Yes. Leave me alone. Go tell your buddies you’re single and see how fast the girls land in your lap. You’ll see what I mean.”

  I forced one foot in front of the other for long minutes as he watched me walk away. I could just see the porch light in the distance. Brody didn’t start the car for a long time, but when he did my eyes closed. I walked blindly as the headlights shined over me and swung away. He spun out, his tires spitting mud in his anger. Then he was gone.

  I looked back, wanting to take everything from his ears and stuff it back in my mouth. His taillights glowed like weird demon eyes from afar before disappearing as he turned a corner. That’s when I collapsed. That’s when I cried my heart into the soil below. What have I done?

  I blink back to the present when the van starts shaking. I look over to see Brody sitting with his hands in his lap. The kids are piling out of the car, but he doesn’t make a move to leave.

  “What?” I ask before licking my lips and looking out my window again.

  “You were out there the whole ride over.”

  “Sorry.”

  Brody’s eyebrows go up and he looks at me expectantly. “What were you thinking about?”

  I clear my throat and unbuckle my seatbelt. Popping the door open, I say over my shoulder, “Nothing. Just tired.”

  Brody follows me to the trunk, but stops me before I can grab a dish and walk away. With a hand on my arm, he stalls my lean into the van and cuts right in front of where I’m about to grab. He sits on the bumper as I straighten and try to cross my arms. Brody’s lip twitches as he grabs m
y hands.

  “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl.”

  I slip the sunglasses off his nose and put them on to conceal my eyes.

  “Do you even remember what that first fight was about?” I ask as he takes my hands again when I try to cross my arms.

  “Mmm.” He nods as if he just figured out the clues to my mood. “Yeah. I remember it all. It’s engraved into my head, I went over it so many times.”

  I look to the side and mumble, “Such stupid kids we were. I was.”

  “Hey.” Brody stands up and cups my face in his palms. “You said it yourself. I may have issues with how it all went down, but you’ve got amazing kids because of it.”

  I nod as I turn to look over my shoulder, him following my movement and backing me up against the frame of the van. My eyes are watching the kids on the tire swing hanging from the huge oak in the front yard. I immediately see Jet on the swing.

  Brody starts talking, and I hear him. I do. But my attention is on checking the kids out of habit. “We were each other’s firsts, going through the pains of being a teenager and dealing with hormones. Both of us. But looking back at it, you have to agree we didn’t know shit about anything. Let’s just move forward, yeah?”

  I watch Jet try to stand up on the swing.

  “Jet, don’t do it,” I say softly.

  Brody holds my jaw and gives me a hard, chaste kiss on the mouth. I break it and move my head to the side so that I can see my son. He says something else, joking about me not even listening to him, and he’s right. Because my son is trying to stand up on the tire that’s swinging from the huge branch overhead.

  “Jet. Jet, sit down.”

  “What?”

  “JET!”

  I see Jet’s foot slip on the tire in his tractionless shoes. Before I’m aware of what I’m doing, I push Brody away from my body, catching him unaware. He stumbles to the side, but my focus is on my baby, falling to the hard packed earth below.

  I run. I take off in my maxi dress that I thought was so pretty. I don’t think about anything but getting to him. My feet move without thought, my heart in my throat as I race to his still body on the ground.

  “Jet!” I yell, the sound of his name escaping my throat on a roar, nothing mattering in that moment but my son. In a blur, someone passes me, getting to my baby first.

  I want to rip their hands off of him as they hold his head still. I collapse in a cloud of dust and slide to him, pulling ineffectively at the arms holding him. “Baby, baby. Talk to me, Jet,” I say over and over, my hands and arms inspecting him for broken bones and contusions.

  The longest moments of my life stretch on before I see beautiful blue eyes flutter to stare me in the face. “Momma.”

  I wilt. My arms almost give out as my heart beats in my throat.

  “Are you okay? Tell me what hurts, baby?” I ask shakily, my arms not stopping their movements over his arms and legs.

  Strong arms try to take me away, pull me from my examination, but I shrug them off. “What is it, tell me?”

  “Momma. You’re freaking out,” I hear above my shoulder. I don’t bother to look back.

  “Tell me what hurts, Jet. Tell me.”

  Jet rolls his eyes back into his head, making my heart stop before I hear, “Momma. I’m okay. You’re hurting me. Let me go.”

  I blink and my son is shrugging away from me. I feel almost hurt, myself. Why is he pushing me away? Doesn’t he need me?

  “Jules. Baby, he’s okay.” I look up, Brody’s hazel eyes, more brown than green, bore into me. I shake my head.

  “Can you move your fingers and toes for me, Jet?” Brody takes over as he keeps Jet’s little head still. I watch as he moves everything perfectly then look back to Brody who has completely taken over in seconds.

  “That’s awesome. Does anything hurt? Your head or back?”

  Jet tries to shake his head. “No. My tongue does, though. Can I have ice cream?”

  I blink, and blink some more as Brody lets him up slowly, leaving me there, about to cry. When did my little baby get old enough to dust off falling from a tree? Shouldn’t he have a concussion or something?

  I feel strong hands pulling me from the dirt under the swing. “Juliet, he’s okay. Look, he’s trying to get back on.”

  My stomach rolls. “I can’t look.” Then I’m turning to point my finger at Jet. “You do not stand up, do you hear me? You know what, why don’t you come with me and we can get some ice cream. I like that idea better.”

  “Come on, Jules. Look, there’s Dez and Will,” Brody tries to distract me. Moving me all the way around, he breaks the hawk eye vision I have on my son.

  Will greats me with a bear hug, pulling away to grasp me by my shoulders. “Kids, huh?”

  There’s laughter around, people finding the humor in the situation before me. I laugh with them, weakly, and try to check on Jet again. My mom grabs me in an iron grip around the shoulders and starts steering me forcibly to the back yard.

  “Who needs a drink? I think Glenny was in charge of that,” my dad says as we move as a herd to the backyard where there are tables and a barbeque.

  “I’m . . . I don’t know. Should we leave him right now?” I ask to the crowd in general. A hand comes and massages the back of my neck. I look up to see my brother, Will, smiling at me.

  “You’re just shaken up, doll. Let’s get a shot in you.” I smile weakly at him, his features so close to mine. I immediately feel comforted by his presence. Will, being so much older than me, has always been a source of guidance, even when I didn’t want to take it.

  “He could have been seriously—” I get cut off by Glen, who seems to come out of nowhere, her hand on a cooler as she holds the lid open.

  “What kind of shot do you want, Juliet? You look like you could use a drink.”

  I see that the cooler is filled with tiny plastic cups that have clear lids on them in all different colors. “Jesus, Glen. I leave for ten years and you turn into a lush.”

  “She just got a wild hair and decided to go to bartending school for kicks. Now she shows off whenever she can,” my mom says as she digs into the cooler ahead of me.

  “Stop it, Ruth, and give the girl a Jell-O shot. She just had ten years scared off of her life,” Glen orders my mom. Mom hands me a pink and a yellow.

  “What flavor are these, exactly?” I ask as I pop the tops.

  “Sex on the beach and lemon drop.”

  I grin and turn back to watch the kids, relieved to see no one standing up. I hold the shot up and touch it with a fingertip. Okay. Here’s the thing about Jell-O shots. There is no way not to look like you’re licking a fish bowl. It’s not sexy, and as I turn back to the group and see my parents, Brody’s parents, and my brother with their tongues sticking out, slurping up jiggly goop, I wrinkle my nose and put the lids back on my containers.

  “What, our booze isn’t good enough for you, either?”

  I spin in place, seeing a woman coming towards me from the direction of the house.

  “Now, Sarah, don’t even go there,” Glen walks up to the hostile woman. Oh yeah. Brody’s sister. I had seen everyone else during the week, but my ex best friend hadn’t spoken to me in eleven years. To say that she hated me would be an understatement. She was by my side through the first breakup, and subsequent fights, but after I moved away and tried to get in touch with her, she shut me out. Judging from her clenched fists, I kind of think we may be about to throw down.

  Honestly, today is not my day. I should have stayed in bed.

  “You think you can just come back home after all this time and everything is going to be like it was a decade ago? Some of us moved on, bitch,” Sarah says as she advances on me.

  My eyes go to the kids that are out of earshot, and not noticing the commotion. Brody steps around me into his sister’s path. “Yeah, well some of us tried and couldn’t. So speak for yourself. This is her brother’s house. If you have a problem you should go bac
k home,” he tells her firmly, but with respect.

  Sarah casts her eyes around the crowd before coming back to him. “This is my friend’s house. I’ve been here more than she has.”

  “This is her brother’s house. Get a grip,” he tells her impatiently.

  “No,” I say, surprising everyone. I squeeze the cups I’m still holding, their lids go flying. “Let’s do this.” I stick a finger in both cups to loosen them and shoot it like an oyster. I hand Brody my trash, licking my finger. “Come take a walk with me, Sarah.”

  We walk away from the group, Sarah much taller than me. She was always big boned, but striking. She had the curves I always wanted. We could never share clothes growing up, and even though she was a grade behind Brody and me, she has always been taller than me.

  “Lay it on me.”

  She takes a deep breath before shoving her fingers in her black hair. “You don’t know what he went through when you left, Juliet. And for you to just march in here and have him falling at your feet makes me want to puke.”

  “What do you mean? I didn’t come here to get him back. He literally was in my driveway when I pulled up. He’s insinuated himself into my life. He’s getting to know my kids and seems to genuinely like them, but Jesus. It’s only been a week.”

  Sarah looks at me with chocolate eyes full of contempt. “He can’t help but push himself into your life. Ever since you were widowed his life has been on hold here. He’s done everything for you, when you weren’t even around to appreciate it. If you aren’t going to take this seriously, then shut it down and let him move on. Finally.”

  I watch my feet as the grass catches my long skirt and shows glimpses of my toes. How are you supposed to feel when someone tells you that the man whose heart you broke has been waiting for you since you left him to carry on a life of your own? I felt like shit. I felt like a user. Ungrateful. Unworthy.

  I twist to look back at the deck. My family starting the grill, the women laughing over a table of side dishes and doing more shots. They were going to be hammered tonight.